A Subtle Change of Heart
by Payge101
Summary: The reapers retreat, they all have a chance to breath, but when everyone falls thankfully into line behind their returned saviour, Garrus notices a subtle change in his Shepard that he wishes he didn't.-rated T for sexual situations, Character death.


**A Subtle Change of Heart**

*Spoilers for the ending of Mass Effect 3*

**-Summary:** The reapers retreat, they all have a chance to breath, but when everyone falls thankfully into line behind their returned saviour, Garrus notices a subtle change in his Shepard that he wishes he didn't.-

*Note- this follows the indoctrination theory*

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He was only half awake when the team arrived, pouring out of the ships and into the rubble they were buried under, checking the life signs of the melted humans surrounding him. Physically he was one of the fortunate ones, his metal hide providing some pitiful protection couple with the luck of being a decent distance away from the Reaper blast that took them out. But he didn't feel fortunate as his eyes were hazily bolted on her burnt body, his head thankfully angled towards her in a way he didn't have to strain much. He wasn't even sure if she was alive or not, and he wasn't even able to crawl to find out. Every controversial cybernetic implants Cerberus ever jammed into her was completely worth it when the rescue crew hesitantly checked her, before bursting into a flurry of activity upon a few weak responses. They'd thankfully remembered to snatch the saviours six up along for the ride when the rescue shuttles sped in.

Brief lucid moments of doctors concerned tones and constantly whirring machines were the height of his consciousness for two days. On the third he managed to turn his head to see Shepard in the bed to his right, rigged with every medical machine they could lay their hands on and rapidly recovering. On the fourth he was able to sit up and drink on his own. He splashed water down his front at her first incoherent gurgle, but the hospital staff didn't even notice in their enthusiastic burst of analysis and neither did he.

It wasn't until early on the fifth day when she finally lolled her head to him and smiled.

"Hey, Garrus."

Her voice was so raspy it was unrecognisable, but the fact that it was hers and she was speaking to him was enough.

"Hey, Shepard." He glanced around the room, stark concrete and exceedingly functional. "Glad this isn't the bar."

She exhaled unevenly, he assumed it was supposed to be a laugh. "Me too." Her eyes grew concerned. "What happened? Is everyone okay?"

"Everyone's fine, You got the worst of it." Garrus curled a talon around his blankets, it was as if no one liked to talk about the Reapers current actions in superstitious fear they might rescind and attack if the organics gossiped too much. "And the Reapers retreated, we have no idea why, but they haven't attacked for the last five days. In fact we're not too sure where they are right now, a hell of a long way away for sure."

"Good." Shepard relaxed against the blankets, smiling. She was apparently a lot better at taking odd news than Garrus, he'd been asking for multiple, cross checked reports as soon as he could form the words coherently.

"You took a beating down there, Garrus. You okay?"

"Been awake for the last three days waiting for you to wake up and you're worried about me? I'm not the one who took a Reaper blast to the face."

"One upped you this time, huh?" Shepard rasped unevenly again in a giggle, reaching for his glass of water.

"I suppose a reaper blast does beat a rocket." He smirked at her, "I'll just have to out do you in the next Reaper fight."

She put the glass down and snuggled back into the mattress, words drifting as she quickly fell asleep. "If there is a next one…"

Garrus inched his cott over to hers, mindful of the many machines. He joined her in sleep gladly for the first time in days, with one hand covering hers amidst their rumpled blankets.

It was both a sign of how shaken the galactic leadership was that the council not only looked to a single human for some clue of what to do, but crowded her hospital bed, taking advice and guidance from a women in a jumper, sipping at her hospital nutrients. Garrus had stood at her intimidating armoured shoulder during many controversial decisions, but her small frame and the hospital tubing did little disservice to her commanding aura, or her gentle persuasion.

"Your people need you, they need stability and guidance. Go back to your planets and rebuild, while we have the chance."

Years of stoic support were tested when the soldier in Garrus nearly goggled his commanders odd decision. After so much effort in getting the races to finally have some limited cohesiveness, she was dismissing them to their isolation again? When the Reapers were still out there?

"Commander," Sparatus was quick off the mark. "Surely now is the exact time to strike. They have retreated because we have weakened them, we cannot allow them to recoup."

The turian's steely determination was undercut but both the Tevos and Valern's dubious reactions to his assertions.

Shepard persisted patiently, "we don't know why they've retreated. What we do know is, they've decimated everything we have, if we push now and you're wrong, we'll lose everything. We have to take this opportunity to recover or we'll be half dead when they return."

Sparatus didn't look convinced, but the asari abruptly cut in before his affirmations. "The Commander is right, the asari and Thessia are in no shape to assist further in this war. But while it would take decades to fully recover, a few short weeks would be enough to reorganize and be ready to assist again."

"The Salarians are in accordance," Valern hastily agreed. Garrus held back a laugh at the salarian war efforts, wisely following another's guidance when they were out of their own shallow depths.

"The turians aren't. We'll remain on Earth and hold the line for when the Reaper's reinitiate. Giving ground now would be a deadly mistake." He turned to his fellow councillors. "I implore both of you to reconsider."

"And Palaven?" Shepard only threw the briefest glance to Garrus as she lightly questioned Sparatus.

His back straightened automatically, "will be fine, the krogan are seeing to that."

Shepard shook her head lightly at his reaction but didn't press further. "It's up to you, but organics not machines, we need to rest and recover. We've all been pushed far enough." She turned her attention to the Tevos and Valern. "Let me know if your people need anything."

The council wasted little time in exiting upon Shepard's gentle dismissal, all no doubt, deeply entrenched in the work of settling all the galactic species. Garrus waiting until the door slid shut behind them, before shifting in his cot, rolling it closer to Jane's to reach for her hand lightly with his. She shot him a relieved smile and she snuggled back into her bed, grabbing at one of his talons as she slunk down.

"Feeling okay?" Garrus intoned, fairly sure those wrinkles on her forehead hadn't been there a few weeks ago.

"'M fine, you?"

"About as good as you can be after being shot by a Reaper."

She breathed a laugh, "Good enough if your humor is intact."

He stroked her hand for a moment, allowing the pleasant silence to delay his question, he hated second guessing her. "You sure that that was the best advice, Shepard? You know how the councillors are, encourage them to tend to their own and we might never see them again, especially when it counts."

Jane closed her eyes tiredly as she answered. "A broken fleet is no good to us Garrus. We have to have faith that they'll return if the Reapers do, and they'll be stronger for a chance to breath."

Any further doubts Garrus might have wanted to voice were buried at her tired yawn and a sleepy mumble as she already drifted off into a troubled sleep. Garrus tucked the hair that fluttered at her nose with each exhalation behind her ear carefully, mindful of his talons.

"Sleep well Jane, everything will turn out all right. I'm just glad to have you back."

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Despite it being a human ship, coming back to the Normandy always felt like coming home to Garrus, especially when he was still sore and limping a little from a rough fight, and despite being in the best care for a week, the battle for Earth had been very tough fight that still left him aching. However, one of the many irritating nuances of serving on a human ship was some of the uninjured crews incessant fussing over the supposed 'war hero's' on return. But at least the dextro food was a little more tolerable for it.

"Did you like the latest batch I got for you?" Traynor asked, reading the ingredients of the package he'd just discarded. "Was the best I could get with the supply lines so fragmented, they said it tastes good for you."

"You did fine, Traynor." Spirits be damned, but Garrus just wished Shepard could find a nice, normal secretary who didn't nervously fret over every little detail. At least she was an improvement over the last lecherous pervert, but he wasn't too happy when he heard about her indiscrete chess overtures with his Commander. "I can live off it."

"Is this really enough to fill a turian up? You don't seem to eat much."

"Turians don't need as much bulk as humans, our food tends to be a lot more dense than yours."

Her eyes were almost bulging with inquisitions that Garrus had little patience for, and was saved from by a welcome tap on his shoulder. Liara stood over him, data file still surgically attached to her hand.

"Sorry to interrupt your meal, but could I speak to you for a moment, Garrus?"

"Sure." Garrus squinted as he followed her into her neon lit room, the television leaving blinking imprints on his eyes.

"This just aired, I wanted to get your opinion on it before I talked to Shepard."

She tapped at one of the screens, a news report flashing open with none other than a very angry Maelon shouting into the feeds.

"-cure is a lie! Commander Shepard betrayed the krogan for a back door deal with our Delatrass for Salarian support."

The asari news caster was practically giddy with the latest news feeds. "And we here at Citadel news 5, have recovered this audio recording of an underhand deal between humanities golden girl Shepard and the Salarian Dalatrass. The report is detailed by Maelon Heplorn, a scientist who's attempts the cure the genophage last year, were thwarted by Commander Shepard."

A snapshot of a furious looking Shepard, probably caught from a security camera, flashed on the screen. "If I sabotage the cure."

"Think about it, Commander."

Garrus leaned against a desk, careful not to knock any of Liara's equipment over as he waivered. He noted they conveniently omitted the military strength Shepard would gain to help save the galaxy's sorry hide. The screen flashes back to a still enraged Maelon.

"The krogan people have suffered injustice after injustice. As if the genophage weren't enough, their admirable efforts to free Earth have been rewarded with their near extinction after such a loss of numbers with no hope to repopulate. Commander Shepard must answer for this!"

Liara mercifully cut the feed, any more and Garrus would have been tempted to put his fist through the salarians face on screen, for the small satisfaction it would offer.

"That's just perfect," Garrus rubbed his brow plate, envisioning the many creative ways they could have silenced Maelon back in his Tuchankan torture camp. "The Reapers have lightened up so of course we need to immediately fill their galactic hole with more trouble."

"Yes it is bad, but that isn't why called you here."

Liara wheeled the chair she was seated in close to him, her eyes pinched with a second layer of bad news and sympathy Garrus didn't want to know anything about.

"I found this in Shepard's outgoings-"

"-You read Shepard's outgoings?" Garrus squawked at the invasion of his mate's privacy, at least Liara had the shame to look abashed.

"Something I wouldn't reveal to you unless it was very important." She tapped on her omni tool, its sending beep answered by Garrus' receiving beep. Garrus opened the file, his irritation at the asari's forwardness giving way to confusion and dread.

"I don't understand." He whispered as he read the file but didn't quite register the meaning. He didn't want to.

"It would appear Shepard had a copy of that proof linking her to the Dalatrass, and sent it to Maelon herself, well before this news feed aired."

"This has to be faked." Garrus dismissed the file, he was delaying and he knew it.

"No," Liara stood and began pacing around the chair, "The message bares no signs of tampering, no trail of CP addresses," Liara paused, stroking her brow, "It even sounded like Shepard's writing."

Garrus shut his eyes and tilted his head back, watching the fading neon flashes left behind his eyelids. He didn't want to think, to question Shepard's orders, he had become so used to the idea that she never made a mistake even when he was dubious about the outcome. Maybe this was just another one of her brilliant manoeuvres that would reveal itself in time?

"Did she really lie about the cure, Garrus?"

Garrus had suspected Shepard never confessed to the rest of the crew, preferring to leave at least their shining image of her alone, but he never pressed the issue.

"She did what she had to."

"I can understand why-" Liara 's eyes dull reflection of the screens suddenly became luminous, "-but how she could… even if it is the krogan." Liara put a trembling hand to her mouth. "But that is immaterial, what really confuses me is not that she did… what she did." Her head turned, eyes sliding to watch him from their corners, "It's that she would choose to reveal a kept secret at all."

Garrus shrugged at the unvoiced question, keeping his own speculations quiet and well away from the recluse asari.

Liara turned to him, eyes soft and hopeful. Glyph popped up to her side, his holographic interface circling, "Excuse me, but Commander Shepard is approaching."

She had her own personal alarm system for Shepard's arrival? Garrus would have to watch the asari a lot more closely from now on.

Her eyes snap froze at the machines intrusion. "Thank you, Glyph," She answered tightly.

"Liara," Shepard marched through the door, a look of surprise contorting her tense features, "Garrus? What are you doing here?"

"Liara was just showing me the latest news feed." He inclined his head to the televisions, Shepards eyes following to the news report now replaying at a few taps of Liara's fingers. Garrus watched her exhale shortly and fold her arms, she was unsurprised.

"Yeah, causing quite the uproar."

"How could you do it, Shepard?" Liara's eyes seemed to double in size, tears threatening to spill as she leaned forward hopefully, looking for Shepards soothing assurances. "How could you do that to Wrex?"

"Liara…" Shepard rubbed her brow, "It was the right choice, the krogan are too violent. Doesn't mean I wanted to hurt Wrex, I loved him like a brother."

"That's why he attacked you, isn't it?" Her tears were leaking freely now.

"It wasn't Shepard's fault that Wrex reacted the way he did." He touched the weeping asari's shoulder comfortingly, it stilled slowly under his grasp.

"I can understand why… but how did Maelon find out? How did he get that evidence against you?" A cleverly worded question, one that Garrus knew she should intervene on, but found himself hesitantly watching Shepard's response. Liara raised her eyes to Shepards, both sets flicking over each other analytically, Shepard's glanced to his, then back to Liara's weepy ones in answer.

"I gave it to him, I just couldn't lie anymore." Her smooth, well practised diplomatic voice threaded through her teeth, falling on Liara's relieved ears and Garrus' distressed ones; he knew that charismatic voice well, though he'd never been on the receiving end. "The reapers have retreated for now, the krogan are decimated… I've caused them enough pain."

While Garrus knew Shepard wasn't evil or cruel, she certainly knew and utilized the meaning of the saying, 'for the greater good,' emotionally caving for a tactical decision just wasn't her style. Garrus surpressed the nervous tingles weaving around his guts, because even Shepard wasn't perfect, the deaths of Wrex and Mordin at her hands had to weigh heavily.

"It was an incredible burden to hold." Liara hugged Shepard close, burying her face in her shoulder. "I don't know if it was the best move or not, but I'm glad you told the truth. They deserved that at least."

Shepards arms closed around Liara's back, "Thanks, Liara." She swivelled her head around to peek at Garrus from behind the asari's fringe. "And you too, Garrus. You've always been there for me, and I know you always will."

Garrus nodded and tried to smile at those shielded eyes, "Whenever you need me, Shepard."

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The presidium was by far the swiftest to erect some semblance of their old lifestyle after the Reaper retreat. While the streets still hummed nervously, speculating quietly over their assailants actions, as if scared the Reapers might reappear and prove them wrong. Turians patrolled the streets, Asari yelled on their omni tools and couples milled about in the few café's still left open. Garrus would have scowled at the pairs eating luxurious food during wartime when millions starved, but any degree of normalcy was comforting now. A particularly succulent dish past him on the way to a set of turian officers, his nose twitching after the lingering aroma when he caught sight of two familiar humans laughing over a meal.

Ash was sawing into her steak while Shepard looped pasta around a fork; both looking more relaxed than they had in months. Garrus turned to give them privacy but stopped when Ash tentatively raised her eyes to Shepard, their happy twinkle replaced with worry. He knew he shouldn't, but the c-sec officer in him found himself discreetly strolling within earshot but conveniently out of either woman's line of sight as Ash put her knife and fork down and folded her arms. Her tone was soft and even, concerned for their Commander.

"I don't mean to question you, Skipper, but are you sure sending the aliens back was really the best idea? Earth is still so vulnerable."

It had surprised Garrus too, when Shepard actually encouraged the species to attend to their own. The asari has disappeared so quickly back to Thessia that there'd hardly been a good bye, the Salarians were keen to get off the front lines and the small groups of non-council races fragmented naturally on their own. The turians had reluctantly budged apon the krogan revelations, forcing the hierarchies return to Palaven if only to evict the rampaging aliens. But if the axis around which they all united decreed it best to tend to their own, no one was going to argue.

Shepard finished her mouthful slowly. "Remember what you said to me, back on the SR1?"

Garrus couldn't see over the stair banister and plants he'd perched himself behind, but he was sure Ashley had simply shaken her head in answer; she'd said a lot of interesting thing's back on the SR1, and absolutely none of them to the aliens on board.

"You said that humanity had to learn to stand on our own, and you were right, we do."

That didn't mean anything, the turians had always favored independency except where it made sense to co-operate, it was only natural for the humans to do the same. Garrus wished the straws were easier to clutch at, ignoring that his Jane had perhaps been the most inter-species co-operation favourable human in the galaxy.

"But right now? Even we need help against this threat."

"No, war always brings change, and humanity needs to make sure it's the best change for us possible. If we don't start now, we'll end up as dependant on them as they are on each other, that's not something I want."

Ash's apparent relief was not shared by their eavesdropping counterpart. "You're right, humanity can handle this. Hell we held down more than practically all the other species combined in the war."

"That we did."

Garrus was still grasping for straws, safe and comforting assurances as he quietly shifted away from the women now returning to their lunches.

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After a day so full of calibrations it numbed even Garrus' mind and fingers, he slipped gratefully from the elevator down the hall to the room he was just starting to feel at home in. He stopped short of the keypad, talon hovering over the familiar numbers when he barely heard two muffled voices. It wasn't unusual to find Shepard holding conversations with EDI over the comm, but rarely did she bring anyone else into the space Shepard now staked as theirs alone.

"-Rannoch?"

"It's beautiful. I've heard some children are actually adapting so quickly that they can go without masks already."

The possibility of joining their conversation was dismissed before it fully formed. It was only a mild difficulty to enfold himself in the half truth that he merely didn't want to interrupt one of the rare moments Shepard got alone with her friends. He shimmied closer to the door, mindful to steady his plates silently against the metal, head positioned to catch as many of their quiet words as possible.

"-how are the admirals and the geth getting along?"

"As good as they can be after the war. The geth have made themselves invaluable, we could never have achieved so much without them. Now we have somewhere for out non-combatants to live."

"And the Quarian people are okay with that?"

"We have to be, and the geth have made it very easy to accept them. They even cared for our world in our absence, as if they wanted us to move back." Garrus had to press his head more firmly against the door as her mechanized tone dropped, "It's hard to believe we were ever enemies, such a stupid waste."

"Yeah…" Garrus could hardly hear her soft, wistful tone and the regret that laced it.

"Is something wrong, Shepard?"

"I just- I wonder if we're making the same mistakes as your people did."

"What do you mean?" Tali bristled subtly, it seemed and instinctive quarian reaction whenever her people were concerned.

"What if our enemies, could be our allies?" Garrus was suddenly leaning on the door more than his legs, his own weight too heavy for now shaky knees. Shepard had always liked looking at things from every angle, didn't mean she would take the more ridiculous options all the time, she couldn't really think…

"The Reapers? No Shepard, they are completely different from the geth."

"Are they? We have no idea why they've retreated. They could have wiped us out, we didn't even get through a third of their fleet and it took everything we could muster. If they wanted to exterminate us now, they would."

"Perhaps we hit them harder than we thought? They may be rebuilding, or planning something worse."

"They can kill us, as is." Shepard shifted around in the room, her footsteps hesitant path shaking the floor plates and door slightly against Garrus cheek. "I think, like the geth, they need data to draw any consensus. I think they've withdrawn because we've impressed them. If the geth have Reaper code, and they trust us, could the Reapers be so different? Obviously if they show any indication of attacking again we need to kill them, but imagine how many lives could be saved if we could… co-exist with them in the galaxy."

"I don't know, Shepard. They've wiped out trillions upon trillions of organics; are we so much better than the last cycles?"

Garrus pressed close, completely fixated on the hesitation of Shepard's response, because he already knew what his Shepard would say to this.

"It's because of those cycles that ours has been able to make a stand. Together, organics have proven themselves an equal to whatever the Reapers are. Whether we have to destroy them remains to be seen. But… if there is a way for peace… shouldn't we at least try it?"

Silence reigned, Shepard's breath held, Tali's fidgeting stilled, Garrus like a rock glued to the wall, even the Normandy's hum seemed to quiet itself.

"Peace… years ago, I would have said it wasn't possible with the geth. I wanted nothing more than their destruction. Now… I just wish we'd listened to admiral Koris sooner." Tali's breath rattled sharply through her visor, as if the attachment could translate and express the stress behind puffs of air. "Peace should always be strived for, if it is possible."

Her voice wobbled, a happy tenor, a sound Garrus treasured used for voicing a repugnant idea. "You think so, Tali?"

"Of course, Commander, I trust you completely, you've always lead us right." Her sweet voice turned harsh, "but Shepard, if they do show any hostile indication, we must crush them, wipe them out completely."

"I know," Shepard sniffed loudly. "That's why I need you and your people to return to Rannoch, Tali. You need to rebuild, to recuperate, we need your fleet at its best if the Reapers should return."

"Are you sure? I would love some time to help my people readjust to Rannoch, but not if you need me."

"Keep in touch, Tali. I'll let you know when we need you, again."

"The best years of my life have been serving under you, Commander Shepard. My people can never repay you for all you've given us. You've found a permanent friendship and alliance amongst the Quarian people, call on us whenever you need."

Garrus only had a scant few footsteps warning to detach himself from the wall, and pray that EDI wouldn't inform them that he was anything less than surprised, when Tali stepped through the sliding door.

"Oh, Garrus! Good timing, I'd like to speak with you in the next few days, when you have the time. I'm sure Shepard will fill you in."

"Sure, no problem." Garrus wished he could be witty when nervously wondering if Tali's suit had any heart rate monitoring equipment installed.

"Great. You two have fun then, and try to remember the rest of us sleep below you." He could practically feel her attempt at a saucy wink as she waddled to the elevator.

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Engineering was a section of the ship Garrus preferred to avoid in favor of his secluded forward battery. Where he found the open floor plan, the constantly tinkering humans and the undulating glow of the core disconcerting, Tali found it comforting and familiar. She tapped at her console mournfully, occasionally glancing at Gabby and Ken, as if her visor could scan and store faces for future reference.

"All packed?" Garrus leaned casually against the metal supports.

"Hey, Garrus." She lulled miserably, still stroking the keys. "Yeah, heading home, for the first time."

"Well you'll always have a home here. I almost wrote the Normandy's docking bay on the Citadel as my shipping address a few times back on Palaven."

Tali turned from the console to face Garrus. "We have been here a long time now. It will feel weird to be amongst mostly quarians again, no humans."

"They do grow on you." Garrus tossed an affectionate look to Gabby and Ken, both obliviously bickering.

"You'll be staying on?"

"Yeah."

"You and Shepard have always been attached at the hip, guess some things never change." There was an odd quiver in her voice that Garrus couldn't quite place.

"Speaking of change, Tali." Garrus paused, hesitant to raise the issue but the turmoil in his gut insisted, if only to allay any concerns. "Does Shepard seem a little… different to you?"

"What do you mean?"

"She seems…" Garrus scratched at his neck uncomfortably. "She seems to have a different take on things now. I mean, what with sending everyone home to tend to their own instead of working together like we should be, the whole krogan thing…"

Tali suddenly turned to face the console, her back rigid. "I still can't believe she would do that, doom an entire species for the faults of their past." She turned her face to him, "and she should have told us, she clearly doesn't trust us as much as we do her."

Garrus held his tongue at his friends hurt anger, "Cut her some slack, she's been under more pressure than any of us."

"Hmph, we've all become leaders of our people, Garrus. We've all made sacrifices. But in regards to your question, no, I haven't noticed anything different. She's right to send people to tend to their own. The quarians desperately need time to resettle on Rannoch." She turned to face Garrus fully, a hand on her hip. "The Reapers could wipe us out right now if they wanted to, yet they do not, I believe it is for a reason. We are safe to recover, for now."

"Hmm." Was all Garrus could hum as his gut clenched again, her confidence doing nothing to relax him. "I better get back to the forward gun, have to pick up the slack for you leaving." He tapped her arm jokingly, Tali reached to stroke the area slowly, watching him closely.

"If you ever need a break from the Normandy, Garrus, you should come see me. You'd be very welcome on Rannoch."

Garrus shifted back, a little uncomfortable with her sudden intensity, "I'll keep that in mind. Spirits be with you and Rannoch, Tali." He nodded at her, forcing a wide grin on his mandibles before he turned, Tali's gaze following him as he left.

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Garrus mind was so far from his actions that night he had trouble reaching arousal when Shepard took him to bed, and he wasn't the only one. He pulled out of her unusual dryness, an important indicator of lack of arousal according to his research.

"Something wrong?"

She looked surprised at his retraction, "I'm just a little distracted tonight, my mind's somewhere else, love."

Garrus shifted until he was spooning her, nose pressed into her hair. Garrus ran his hand along her belly and thighs, stroked her fingers between his. They lay in silence for what seemed hours, Garrus had never felt so despairingly distant from his Shepard before, words forming in his mind but feeling completely wrong on his tongue.

"It will be so beautiful, Garrus." He jolted a little as the sentence slithered out of her mouth into the quiet room.

"What will be?"

"The peace."

Garrus swallowed uncomfortably, "jumping the gun a little soon aren't we? They've only retreated…"

"It's a sign of respect. They could destroy us, easily, but they don't want to Garrus. We did it."

"Better not take chances with the Reapers."

Shepard turned her face to look at him out the corner of her eye. "We can't destroy them, they're too powerful."

Garrus wrapped his arms firmly around her waist, the uncomfortable itch in his throat swelling into a small ball. "We've got them on the run, don't we? We've done pretty damn well so far, we're still in this, Shepard."

Jane sighed and turned her head back to the pillow. "Even if we could, we'd just destroy ourselves. The krogan… the quarians… everyone. All so eager to dominate, waging war without a second thought. How can we trust the galaxy to organics alone?"

"Well at least we have you, our little peace maker." Garrus nuzzled her ear gently.

Jane was silent for a few long moments, tense in his arms. "What if it could be better?"

Garrus pulled back from her slightly, "How?"

"We can't deny the reapers strength, Garrus. But what if we could… unite with them, become better? Our strengths combined, our weaknesses nullified."

Garrus closed his eyes, pressing his forehead to Shepard back as a horror crawled like a long legged insect leaving a thick, slimy trail up his back. Shepard took a deep breath, her back pressing firmly against him, her soft skin giving under his plates.

"They talked to me Garrus, the Reapers, Harbinger. They want to ally with use, synthesize. It benefits both, the synthetics and the organics. We could have peace."

Garrus struggled to make a sound, wheezing around the ball in his throat, "You can't trust a reaper, Shepard. There can be no peace with them, not after they've caused so much misery."

Shepard turned her face again, eyeing him. "See, your preconceptions are colouring your view. What if the reapers were just waiting for someone worthy? They want to grow stronger and we can help them. We can't risk everything we have when there is a new, better solution at hand."

Garrus hated the words as they bitterly edged out of his mouth. "You sound like Saren."

Shepard sat up quickly, "How can you compare me to him?"

Garrus kept his eyes on her now empty pillow, "He also wanted an alliance between the Reapers and organics for the greater good. We saw how that turned out for him."

"He was weak. I talked with their leader, Garrus, you have to believe me. I can make this better, I can save everyone… I thought that you of all people would believe me." She dropped her head into her hands, fingers scrunching in her hair. "Please trust me, Garrus. I need you with me."

Garrus finally raised his eyes to her, "this isn't you Shepard, this isn't what my Jane would say…"

"You think I'm…"

Garrus took her hand in his. "Even you aren't invulnerable, love. Don't believe their lies, they want to turn you especially."

Jane turned and straddled him furiously, "I'm not indoctrinated! I'm stronger than that."

"Jane…"

She raise a fist to punch him, Garrus caught it; trying to be gentle as he man handled her through her struggles, but using far more force than any of their vids ever suggested. Shepard thrashed angrily, Garrus hugged her too him, flipping her, until her back was pressed painfully against his chest plates. She struggled, but naked human strength against turian, just didn't compare. Garrus' arm wrapped around her torso, his elbow crook pressed against her soft breast as his trigger finger curled around her jugular, trembling.

"Jane, please… you have to see what they're doing to you. Just like Saren, just like Benezia… you have to fight it!"

"You can't see what I see, Garrus. We were wrong… they are our salvation. Together we will become so much more than our disparate parts."

Garrus' talon was pressed firmly to her throat, one of the places he had always been so emphatically careful about keeping his sharper edges away from, when intimate with her delicate form. Her pulse was steady and only slightly upbeat from the exercise; she was completely unafraid in his deadly grip. His hand trembled so violently it slipped from her throat to her collar bone. He shifted, until his sat behind her, his legs spread on either side of her hips.

"Jane, you promised we'd find out what a turian-human baby looked like, right?" Garrus' weak laugh sounded more like a wispy rattle. "Can't do that if we're half reaper spawn."

He slipped his hands around her waist, holding her tightly to him, rocking her back and forth.

"I am doing this for us, Garrus." She wrapped her own arms around his. He buried his forehead into her shoulder blades with a quiet cry.

"I sh-" he struggled to get the words out, "shouldn't let you do this. If you were in your right mind you'd w-want me to…"

They sat there, quietly rocking as Garrus cried against her back.

"You won't change your mind, will you?" She whispered sadly.

He couldn't respond, choking against her. She pried his arms from her waist gently, grabbing the pistol off the bedside table as she went. Garrus dropped his face to his hands, denying the reality for a few precious seconds longer.

"I wanted you to see it so much, Garrus… the Reaper's blessings."

"J-Ja-" He couldn't even gasp her name out as he keened, his mandibles fluttering in grief.

She turned, cocking a heat sink into the gun, pressing it to his miserable head. Her finger tensed on the trigger.

"Wait." His voice was so flanged, so uneven, it was barely recognizable. Garrus slid to his knees before her, pressing his face to her belly, hands wrapping around her thighs, resting on her buttocks. "Wait."

She removed the gun questioningly, hopefully.

Garrus looked up to her eyes. "Please come back to me again, let me talk to you the way you were… at least once more."

Shepard's eyes grew sad, the hope dying once more.

"Just one minute. To speak to my Jane again. I need it." His claws dug into her skin.

She pressed the barrel lightly to his temple, trying to ignore his begging eyes, wet, desperate and pitiful. His mandibles fluttering so sadly, so quickly they were an invisible blur.

"Please."

Her finger trembled, hesitant on the trigger.

"Please, come back to me, Ja-"

-End.


End file.
